Every year it was the same old thing. I'd bake fruitcakes for all my friends and family and send them out. But, did I get a thank you? No. In fact when I asked about them, all I got was an embarrassed silence. This year I saved hundreds of dollars in energy, expensive ingredients and many hours of my life by sending them the Inflatable Fruitcake. It brought a smile to their faces and they can still display a little piece of holiday cheer and think of me.
I have an allergy to candied fruit. This debilitating handicap has limited my enjoyment of the holidays for my entire life. Now, with the Inflatable Fruitcake, I can experience the holidays without collapsing on the ground, gasping for air as hives break out on my skin. It's like Santa finally decided to fill my stocking with what I wanted. Candied fruit is poison and should be banned from airplanes and schools. Now if I could only find a girlfriend my life would be complete.
Last Christmas I got 20 fruitcakes in the mail, the Christmas before that it was 15. I don't eat the darn things and it seems such a shame to throw them away. So, I saved them all and built a gardening shed in my backyard out of stale fruitcake. If it rains, my shed smells like Christmas. Please stop sending them! Just send me an inflatable fruitcake and every year I can experience the ease of just blowing it up. Then, when the season is over, I can simply deflate it and stick it in a drawer until next year.
I really wish I had thought of this product. I get stuck selling stuff like cars and shaving cream, but this actually addresses a real human problem in a practical way. Until I saw Inflatable Fruitcake, I felt fulfilled. Now, I'm an empty shell of a man working for a giant corporation. I mean, good gosh, this things sells itself. It makes me obsolete. If it ran for president it would probably win. I just wish someone would invent something that inflated my ego!